Perplexed

I am at the end of my rope right now.  Besides having a huge flare because I was smashed by an elevator,  the weather changes, etc I am sick and tired of people accusing me and my friends of things that are not true or are half truths.

I have never publicly bashed anyone.  In private, I may have expressed frustration about people's action but never publicly.  I have never harassed anyone with non-stop emails, posts, etc.  It is not in my nature. I am a very trusting person, which has come back to bite me. Now I don't know who to trust outside of a small group of people.

About 18 months ago, I was added to a veteran's group by a friend who is a veteran to share my CRPS knowledge.  While posting in the group, I had a difference of opinion with one of the group's members over the definition of remission.  I though that we agreed politely to disagree.  Since I was not a vet, but an invited guest, I thought it would be best to leave the group.

The next thing I know, I am being called to ask why I am apposing  testimony in front of congress that I knew nothing about.  I had no opinion or reason to chime in about veteran affairs since I am not a veteran. I thought that the difference of opinion had been resolved in the group.  Obviously I was wrong.

Things seemed quite for a while.  All of a sudden, someone else was harassing me with nasty messages.  At that time, I did not know that there was a connection between the two.  I added a third party to the message for the very reason listed above.  That situation calmed down.

The next thing I know, CRPS PIP was asked by an individual who I did not trust to help someone that I did know.  I asked this individual if they wanted to be part of the board.  Again, I did not know that there was a connection with this individual either.  During our board meeting, done on line as we are in several different states; we discussed having some other groups split the cost of the financial help to this individual.   I was told that neither group was in a position to do so.  Since I didn't know (and still don't) what the mission statement was of the one group, in private I asked that question and a few more.  This was done in a private chat; not publicly.  Six days later this person resigned from the board stating she wasn't comfortable with the group not having liability insurance.  I had not had a chance to officially add her to the board on paper, I just added her to our meeting.  I never said that I kicked her out or anything like it.  I said that I had not officially made her a board member yet.

Again, there is a calm period.  Next thing I know, the privileged information contained in that board meeting was publicly posted.  Two innocent people had their private business publicly posted.  After that, the posts, emails, Amazon comments, and blog comments began.  If my friends (not prompted by me) tried to defend me, they too became targets.  They were barraged by wall postings, emails, etc.  My daughter saw one of the nasties public postings and was very upset by it. I had to unfriend my mom and step father to keep them from seeing what was going on.  Yes, in the beginning I defended myself but that just made them harass me more and more.  I tried ignoring them.  That did not work either.

Next, I get an email from the head of an organization that I have been a part of for many years stating that he needs to speak with me urgently.  Because of family issues with my daughter and her new baby, I was away for four and a half months.  My husband and I took some time off to get away.  I responded to the email saying that I was not making or accepting phone calls at this time.  I also indicated that I had a pretty good idea what it was about.  Back comes an email loaded with accusations made by a third party against me.  My nice vacation was ruined as I cried on my husband's shoulder about all of this for the first time. I had not shared any of this with him until now.

So here I am back in DC to see my grandson and the saga continues.  I do not see these individuals as a threat but obviously the see me as one.  Why else would they go to such great lengths to bash me in so many mediums?  I will not stop what I am doing to help others.  I will not name names although my name and that of my friends have been tossed around openly.  Our children, grandchildren, cousins, aunts and uncles all had to read this trash about us.  These are people who volunteer their time to help others even though we too have this monstrous disease.  Stress and emotional upset make our pain increase just like everyone else with CRPS.  Don't they have better use of their time?  How can they hate someone so much that they make every day a nightmare?  I do not understand it and I never will; however if I let them stop what I am doing, they win.

So, what can I do or say to stop this?  I have no clue.  Thus the title perplexed.  Whatever it is that you think that I have done, I have no malus towards you in spite of all of your antics.  It is not in my nature to hate people.  We are all human and make mistakes.  I do take issue when you involve innocent people who have a friendship with me or I was trying to help. They should never have been dragged into whatever your issue is with me.


At this point, I think that it is defamation of character.  Because it crosses state lines, that would make it a federal offense.  I have been advised that I probably have a good case.  That will just stir up more crap and continue the harassment to myself and innocent people.  I am at a loss as to what I should do.   I am perplexed.  I have been told that what goes around comes around.  I've been told that the people who really know me, know that I am an honorable person.  Right now, I just want to be left alone.